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Deceleration

information without interpretation

waves and rapids of my mind

a hurricane in my head

unstoppable avalanche

words, images, sounds

completely loose

chaos

all

 

(but suddenly)

slowed down speed

getting smaller

the line drops

less and less

stiffer

slower

lower

 

(and finally)

in the infinite

standstill

minimal

peace

white

pure

 

Nothing.

 

Author: Ellen

Dementia

No, just go away!

Just promise you’ll leave and never come back!

Ever! Never! …. Never?

See, so many times I have to remind myself just to…

Nevermind…

–Dust and gue! Tasty brew! Lusty Sue!

–Did she pay you a visit?….

Wait!

Who said that?.. Is there someone listening?

— Queen and the king? Frodo and his kinky ring?

Hey stop it… I told you to go away

Seriously, you’re making my head itch…

Now look what you’ve done! You made me remember!

I told you that I couldn’t save her!

I told you that…

How come you never remember? Is this why I must?

Looks like you’re telling me it’s not about a car, or a tree

and it seems to me you’re hiding something under your sleeve

Hidden intention!

Inception! I mean… deception!

— Stupid…

Wait , who said that?

I feel like I’m loosing my mind

Who?

— Who is losing who?

Is this you???

— And it always has been…

Wait a second, don’t think you can distract me!

You have lost now, because I somehow remembered

and now it’s eating away my heart so I couldn’t feel..

….

The road… Sue, watch out!!!

Sue…please no! I’ll do whatever , just please, don’t go…

It was me you motherfucker!

It was fucking me…. not the damn car, not the tree!

But it can’t be..

–Dust and gue! Tasty brew!

Stop it!!! I admitt god damitt, I was drunk

— So it is you! YOU are the problem!

Please, I admitt god dammit!

I drank too much.. My god I killed her!

No… I refuse to know this!

It’s not true….

Sueeee!

Where is she?

Was she swallowed by nothingness?

— Nothing less… she is dead now,

so why not take a decent bow?

You bastard! I will stab you!

— You might as well stab yourself too

Hey….  it’s almost lunch time!

I’ll finally be able to stretch these legs of mine

— It’s not these straps that bind your legs, it’s your insanity!

–And fighting insanity is vanity, get it?

Let it go! Let me go

And now he’s gone…the voice is gone

And I am left with the all too familiar bitterness

of that insatiable, lonely  inner space

type writer

The Fall

type writerI had the weirdest dream.
I was falling,
Like Alice.
Or failing…
Words are blurry in dreams.

There were no hands to grab on.
There was no slowing down.
It lasted for most of my life.
I grew old and cold to the fear.
I stopped caring, but the fall was blurry, still.

I started wishing for the end of the road,
A horizontal wall, if you wish.
The pain, the blood…
Anything to surprise me,
To feel the part of what they call life.

And the surprise came.
It was fear, again,
But not the death related one. No.
“What if I don’t feel love anymore?”
“What if… I never live anymore?” What if?

Like a sign, suddenly
You woke me up,
Because you heard me screaming
“Love! Love!” again and again.
Eyes opened, as clear as you.